Since the dawn of civilisation mankind has always sought to be like the birds and take to the sky. Which is why the latest trend of Flapping makes so much sense. It gives a sense of freedom, of soaring above life’s problems. As this photo shows you don’t have to be very fit to do it. It’s a full upper arm workout with rest breaks every twenty seconds. Some newer spin-offs include actual feathers you can attach to your arms.
This hot new trend came from the western suburbs of Melbourne and quickly spread. Combining the aerobics ofcar jacking with the fun of karaoke, it’s now the number one fitness craze of the posh suburbs of Sydney. And what’s not to like? You get an intense body workout through hurling people from their cars with brutal force plus you get to indulge yourself in singing some of your fave pop numbers from Beyonce or Shannon Noll! And who knows? You may find your victim singing along too! Plus there’s an extra hit of adrenalin when the police arrive.
3. Creepy Touching
Developed as a quick fitness workout on rush hours in New York subways, Creepytouching means grabbing hold of any random object in a room and holding it firmly while you walk around for 40 minutes. This slow paced workout does shed the kilos but police complaints tend to grow after each session.
4. Hand Origami
This is pretty similar to the Californian fitness trend Hand Squelching but its more about team building than crushing people’s spirits (and hands). It fuses ancient Japanese creative concepts, with yoga, thumb workouts and tie wearing. It’s very intense and you’ll barely notice that the three-hour session has flown by. As you start to build a bond with your team-mates, who knows what hand thing you’ll create together?
5. Hair Zooshing
This started out in a number of fashion shoots and Duran Duran music videos. What was a simple hair flick by models has now been developed into an intense cardio workout … of the hair! It comes with a whole package of pouting and unblinking stares. For those without full lustrous hair, there’s a sister activity, frumping.
This has replaced Hit’n’Running as the go-to power exercise. Based on how popular Aussie cereals Weetbix are always long and straight, the idea is you have to remain rigid like a Weetbix at all times and no matter whatever is thrown at you.
7. Shadow Tae Bo
Shadowboxing proved to be a surprise hit last year with its cheap running costs and lack of any injuries. Then there was shadow pilates. And now shadow tae bo promises a fierce intense martial arts fitness and the best thing is you can stay in your office clothes the whole time!
8. White Collar Rafting
Nothing like a quick workout on a boat during a busy day at the office – especially when you don’t have to leave the office! White collar rafting saves on boats, lifejackets and sharp rocks. Watch out for the chubby dude from HR when you’re flying across the office floor! White collar rafting is not for the faint hearted. There’s already been several fatal crashes into photocopiers and one rafting expedition got lost in the office kitchen and died after eating 2 day old yoghurt.
This craze began in the rural outskirts of Bunbury, West Australia, and quickly took off. For busy city ladies working a frantic job, bunburying isn’t just a fitness regime – it’s a whole change of lifestyle. For as little as $600 a week, young ladies can pay to work on a rural farm. Here they are given a complete, carefully thought out, whole of body, cardiovascular program by the Bunbury Master (the farmer) that usually involves drenching sheep, digging fence posts, crotching lambs and ploughing fields. Often ladies will also bake the Bunbury Master’s dinner. And occassionally be required to marry him.
Sometimes with fitness its best to keep it simple. Tann-ercise is tailor made for Australia, with its sunny weather and glorious beaches. You sweat just as much as normal exercise through either the sun’s rays or a tanning lamp. What’s even better is you don’t have to lift a finger to get fit and you’ll turn a nice brown as you lie there. Are there any downsides? Not really, although too much tannercise can turn you into a lobster or Donald Drumpf.