Looking to visit Mt Isa? You’re going to need to know someone called Brian. Here’s the definitive list of Brians you may want to check out.
1. Brian Jacobs
He’s number one with a bullet! Literally. This Brian wasn’t on anyone’s lists last year but then came the famous Brianland murders. A masked man who mumbled his name as Mrian MJacobs gunned down six of the most well dressed Brians in town. Police investigations continue but the killer is still at large. Let’s just say we think Brian Jacobs is one hell of a straight shooter and a real son of a gun. We'd dare not put him at #1! (Because he might kill us, like he did the other Brians).
2. Brian Cheung
Do you like doing thumb puppetry? Jiggy with yoga? Where do you stand on going to car washes – without a car? Hey you will really dig Brian Cheung who combines all three. It’s weird. At times painful. But he’s a lovely guy and useful to know. He's also the Mayor Of Mt Isa.
3. Bryan Skoli
Can someone called “Bryan” be on a “Brian” list? Well, hell yes, especially when he’s this Bryan! Bryan Skoli is a real dude. He's the dude's dude. He does sky diving, he has an exotic girlfriend from Sydney, he’s a former AFL champion and he has a farm where he headbutts things.
4. Brian Vascombe
Not the most exciting Brian you’ll ever meet, this Brian makes the list as his wife is named Briony. They are known as the “Double Bris of 48 Aronsten St”. Instead of “high tea” they have “Bri Tea”. Still, they are good for free cake.
5. Brian Ferry
Not the Bryan Ferry of Roxy Music and Love Is The Drug fame. This Brian Ferry plays in a Roxy Music tribute band that also specializes in pouros rock capstoning and retro glam welding. Also, they are less of a band and more of a capstoning/ welding racket. They also do fences and light-medium concreting.
6. Brian Paige
This Brian was at number two only a year ago but was shot as part of the Brianland Massacres. He still survives, but is in a coma and in a critical condition. Though he can’t talk, read, listen or go the toilet himself, he still remains one of Mt Isa’s hottest bachelors.
7. Brian Campbell
His life story reads like a swashbuckling adventure: if your idea of adventure is 7 years in gaol for burglary, assault, petty theft and stealing court staplers while being sentenced. The reason this Brian makes it into number 7 is that he’s a great raconteur and can tell stories all night about some of his amazing escapades. Also there aren’t many people called Brian in Mt Isa, we were really scraping the bucket there.
8. Brian Vance
Great guy to have a beer with. But under no circumstances lend him a moist, rolled up copy of Open Road NRMA magazine. For obvious reasons.
9. Brian Suradesh
This Indian Brian’s real name is Shri but he changed it to Brian when he moved to Mt Isa to fit in. Brian is the local town doctor and had to treat his own wounds when he was shot during the Brianland Massacres. As he jokes (over and over) “I had myself in stitches”.
10. Jayden “Brian” McFarlane
Although he was christened a Jayden, this guy is still very much a Brian. In fact his work mates nicknamed him Brian ever since a misspelled sack of bran (it read “BRIAN”) fell on top of him and left him annoyingly crippled for life. The sack of bran is still kept in Mt Isa’s Museum Of Brian for tourists to visit