TIMELINE OF THE EAST-WEST FEUD
1992 – Liz Masters stars in the classic Puccini opera "La Fanciulla del West" (or The Western Girl). The West Coast opera scene takes this as a snub, especially when Masters doffs a Swan Lager t-shirt and does an improvised rap about Alan Bond.
1993 - Helen Yu releases hardcore libretto album - "La costa orientale è molto pigra" ("The East Coast Are Bludgers"). Violence breaks out in Sydney record stores on its release. Several zimmer frames are broken in the scuffle.
1994 - Fatal drive by. A touring Melbourne opera company are pulled over by Perth police in a random stop. Three bassoons are confiscated. Some explicit sheet music is taken away. A French horn player is quietly shot. WA-East Coast relations hit a new low.
1995- Who's That Lady? The Perth opera company tours Sydney. During the middle of a long solo inDon Giovanni, a large balaclava wearing lady leaps on stage and launches into a Wagnerian libretto. Detectives from the Performing Arts crime squad are unable to locate the perpetrators after their grant submission into solving the crime is rejected.
1997 - Helen Yu disses Liz Masters in an obscure 13th century Italian recording: “Il tuo posteriore ha bisogno di un proprio longship” ("Your bottom needs its own longship”). Several West Coast SUVs are torched on Sydney's North Shore in response.
1998 - The Night Of The Long Wives. A gang of tall, wealthy socialite women descend on a small Sydney bar where some West Coast players are hanging out and subject them to ten minutes of eye rolling and vicious snubbing. In an unrelated incident a viola player is strangled.
1999 - Orchestrated Violence . Helen Yu appears in a spectacular La Traviata at the Sydney Opera House but in the middle of Violetta's "Sempre Libera" she suddenly does a rap call out to her "WC bitches and fellas to bum rush the show". A small crowd tramples the orchestra pit. Luckily only a few dozen are killed. In an unrelated incident a viola player is strangled.
2000 - Drive By Cantatas. Several Ford Falcons go on a wild ride through the streets of Fremantle startling passers by. The cars each have a large opera singer inside who winds down the window and bellows out cantatas at the crowds. Many are taken to hospital for shock.
2001 - Urgent peace summits are held, led by Anthony Warlowe and Julie Anthony. Both West and East coast players agree to a cease fire. A celebration album is recorded with John Farnham and Shannon Noll, where classic opera songs are recorded in a pop style. All proceeds go to the Victims of Gangsta Opera Foundation.
2002 - The "Operatic Coast to Coast Peace" album is released. Violent riots occur everywhere across Australia. The album is mercifully destroyed along with the artists.